I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Green mimosas i think yes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
