So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
