I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
