Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
