im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
