I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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