Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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