I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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