I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
