You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
