problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize