ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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