I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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