You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize