i think my tv is drunk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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