I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
