Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Randomize
