I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
