So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
