You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
