Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
