I wish I could punch you in the face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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