so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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