her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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