Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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