just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
