party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
