yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
