on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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