I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
