I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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