Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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