As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
