dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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