Don't you send me to vm
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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