been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
