I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
