He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
