she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize