Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
