Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
