is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I smell stomach acid.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
