I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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