that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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