So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
