My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You are a genius and a whore.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
