I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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