was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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