I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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