y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
