Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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