i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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