ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
