Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize