i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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