Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
