let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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