hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
