He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
