why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
