since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
