I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
