we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
