that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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