A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
